Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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