Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
