There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
