Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
