we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
