at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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