You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
