i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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