Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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