I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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