It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
