I smell stomach acid.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
