Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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