Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish life had little blips of pornography
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize