Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
