i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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