You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Please, let me fuck your mom
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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