I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
