I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
