She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
is it fun? or sober?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
