i don't like sucking hair
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
