This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
