i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize