me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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