I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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