Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize