i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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