Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
