Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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