your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
