Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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