I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
