I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize