question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
