i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
