Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
