Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
