Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
