i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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