are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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