Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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