Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
sarcasm needs its own font
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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