dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
