it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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