We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
