eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
