His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
