I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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