There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
