i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
