im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
