uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
