i just had sex bonerless
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
