i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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