it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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