Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So here I am, sexting at work.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
