We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
